Melancholy
Reflecting on days that hurt - Birthdays and Mothers Day...
Today is my little sister’s birthday, a lost soul that hurts with unwell behaviour that may never get better. It makes my heart hurt. She was a mother’s day baby who was loved. She has a story, has a family, but is lost in a world that is not okay. Mother’s Day makes my heart hurt for choosing health over toxic relationships. The hurt remains, the guilt has subsided somewhat, but my heart breaks for lost relationship.
Soulful mourning that bites me quietly
Loneliness that is unexplainable
A merciful wail that is indescribable
Calling out for an explanation
Be gone dear melancholy, be gone
Renegade emotions
Shouldering all
Overcoming the last of my dignity
Bringing a shield that is neither protecting or welcome
The wall must fall, the shield must go, the renegade must turn away
The denier of self
Such a dangerous being she is
Recklessly damaging its own inner sanctity
Lavishly making claims that are untrue,
Only to betray those claims without hesitation
Who is self, one that can be true and vulnerable?
Giving up the sanctimonious skill of denial is key.
When the hurts overcome you, it is often hard to see the positives in life.
Choosing Joy is a method of emotional healing that has allowed me to see the simple joys in life, without regard for the past hurts that overwhelmed me for so long.
I now work very hard to see that life brings joy.
I really loved the honesty in this. The reminder that joy can still exist after hurt is something many people quietly need to hear.
tell me more about these red orbs! 😍